Evil Bong 2: King Bong (2009)

Far below the rank of Pineapple Express is Half-baked. Well below Half-baked is this sorry excuse for a stoner comedy, Evil Bong 2. More like evil DUNG. Considering the very limited backdrops, the stereotypical job on the blaxpoitation for talking bongs and a juvenile screenplay that could have been consolidated to a 25-minute sitcom, the Z-grade Evil Bong 2: King Bong is a big bunghole. Don’t even bother. [rating: 50 cents] –Kenyon

The Ghoulies (1985)

The problem with this fantasy-horror-joke is that the ghoulies play no integral part. The underused ghoulies are summoned as minions and do the bidding of their master. Which means they attack and kill under someone else’s will. Further still, the spotlight is stolen from the ghoulies by a midget couple that were summoned as well. Perhaps more on the ghoulies will be explored in Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College. [rating: $3] –Kenyon

Splatter Farm (1987)

Infamous for being amateur yet respectfully daring, this shot-on-video (ie, camcorder, home movie) abnormality has as many gross-outs as it does laughs. Adding to the offbeatness is that the depictions on the VHS slipcase and DVD release have characters and stills not in the movie, ie there is no woman in a beige outfit. In fact, there’s barely anything resembling a farm in Splatter Farm.

Despite its seemingly mild-manner tone set by unlikeable twins who reluctantly visit their depraved aunt, Splatter Farm is a savage, hullucinagetic trip with innovative cheap gore effects. And as cheap as it is, this unique film manages to be shockingly repulsive. Bodies are dismembered, sexual interactions are pushed to the edge, a knife is excremented (i think) and a guy is buried in a shallow grave, nude and possibly still alive. And that’s not even the worst (best?) of it. Believe it or not, there is actually a satisfying surprise twist at the last minute. This is must-see, even if it’s the re-edited DVD version.[rating: $9] –Kenyon

Deadline (1984)

A wealthy, phony douchebag who ignores the needs of his wife and three kids is under pressure to write his next controversial macabre horror screenplay. Deadline is essentially a drama at its core, while unconnected grisly deaths representing the writer’s ideas for that next script are interspersed. These scenes include two young children setting their grandma on fire, a cult of nuns who disembowel a man and a godawful gothic-glam-punk rock band performing while three homeless alcoholics have seizures. Yes you read correctly, and this is priceless. Eventually the writer realizes that his own life turned into a better story than anything else but by then one of his children have already succumbed to his neglect. A so-so warning to be more damn responsible. [rating: $5] –Kenyon