Automaton Transfusion (2006)

Holy crap look at that image on the DVD cover, looks pretty intense right? Well sadly this mess has zero substance, ripping off every other film about a quickly spreading infection. The most cliche “witty” comments are done better in any other “zombie” movie. Why oh why. Okay i’ll tell you why. An infected guy randomly jabs his hand into a girl’s abdomen, pulls out a fetus and the girl exclaims, “my baby!” Otherwise an amateur bore. [rating: $1] –Kenyon

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Yikes. After setting fire to a local dive bar, a rock band named Low Shoulder attempts to sacrifice Jennifer for its own selfish needs. Because she was not a virgin, Jennifer is now a succubus. You can’t make this stuff up, oh wait, someone did. It would make more sense if the title character was originally innocent and shy, but Jennifer was already a shallow bimbo. As a succubus the only difference is she’s gruesomely tearing apart a victim’s torso. Oh the humanity. [rating: $2]

The Room (2003)

Heralded as one of the worst ever made, the Room shows the best example of naive cinema. The script, acting, story and everything else is a disconnected disaster. But let’s focus on the football. Yes, football. When the characters are not engaged in absurd conversation and superficial relationship issues, they toss a football to one another. They are always up for this. Whether it’s in a small corner of the limited sets at an apartment building, on the small roof of the apartment building, or out back in tuxedos. The Room, which supposedly was originally meant to be a drama and later referred to as a “black comedy,” is a must see for extremely awkward filmmaking. [rating: $5] -Kenyon