Hide and Go Shriek Review (1988)

 

Eight kids have graduated high school and now they are partying inside a furniture store (what?). While the employees are closing the store for the day, one of them mentions that the windows have shatterproof glass and there is an ex-convict living in the basement. Of course he has easily identifiable snake tattoos so to compare to the unseen assailant’s hands later chain-locking a door. Meanwhile, the group of geniuses–whose language is limited to phrases like “you’re stupid, jerk face”–agree to play hide and seek (duh). The couples pair off, find a hiding spot (bed) and dilly dally for 30 minutes or so. Finally they are terrorized by store mannequins while a weirdo frolics around wearing clothing of the people he offed. Unlike most every other “slasher,” half the kids in the extremely murky picture quality of Shriek survive. This includes a prankster wearing sunglasses in the dark for most of the movie. While attention is put towards the ex-con, it turns out someone else is in the multi-level building. The explanation as to why is nonsense to say the least. [rating: $1] –Kenyon

similar: Dorm that Dripped Blood, Intruder, Funhouse, Hell Night

The Brain (1988)

What a way to go. Being eaten by an enormous alien mutant monster brain. That’s some suggestive effing vore there. Hey, the brain was doing fine controlling minds until some meddling kids got in the way. Now it has to take breaks from its mind control room to eat them. Eating them will cause the brain to expand, and we’ll assume, become even more powerful. Now listen brain, don’t get a big head. The doctor assisting you just got decapitated! In other words, this is classic. [rating: $7] –Kenyon