Prometheus (2012)

“Oh look at you, c’mere, i’m not gonna hurt you, oh wow you’re beautiful, c’mere baby…AHHHHH it’s gonna break my arm…ahhh now it’s broken!” This is roughly what a scientist, who was allowed to be amongst a crew searching for the origin of humans, says to an alien mutant species that resembles a huge worm. IDIOT! See, people like to touch things. Makes it seem more real or something. Did it seem real enough when you got YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU BY A WORM?! Good thing that worm and the rest of Prometheus is visually spectacular. [rating: $8] –Kenyon

Alien Contamination (1980)

Alien Contamination (aka Contamination, 1980) Hundreds of watermelon-size egg-like things have appeared in New York City. The authorities are on it, and they find out that they explode onto people and then two seconds later the victim’s guts explode out in a gory manner, which is fairly impressive for this type of early 80s, lower budget film. The eggs are very important to the people that have a plan for them. And they are so important, these eggs, that men will sacrifice themselves to keep it covered. In one scene some dudes get caught in a warehouse with the eggs, so they shoot the eggs in front of themselves (!) and die instantly. Later, in a flashback, it’s shown that the strange eggs originated from Mars and one of two astronauts took back a “seed” to grow a cyclops. Yes, a cyclops. This sorta comes out of nowhere near the end, but it’s very entertaining. It’s an alien creature, the size of a large tree–and kinda shaped that way–that is in the basement of the facility housing the eggs. It is controlling minds and making its servants harvest the eggs, which apparently have no other purpose than to explode and release toxic substances. Anyway, the other astronaut saves the day, although one of the other hero lead characters is unexpectedly eaten by the cyclops. Wooops! [rating: $3]Kenyon