Automaton Transfusion (2006)

Holy crap look at that image on the DVD cover, looks pretty intense right? Well sadly this mess has zero substance, ripping off every other film about a quickly spreading infection. The most cliche “witty” comments are done better in any other “zombie” movie. Why oh why. Okay i’ll tell you why. An infected guy randomly jabs his hand into a girl’s abdomen, pulls out a fetus and the girl exclaims, “my baby!” Otherwise an amateur bore. [rating: $1] –Kenyon

Headless Eyes (1971)

Headless Eyes (1971) Weirdo artist tries to steal a girl’s money. After she gouges his eye out with a spoon, he is now obsessed with doing the same to random victims. He takes the eyes and then does creative things with them, like putting them in ice cubes. Headless Eyes is terribly made with many pointless, dragging scenes, but considering this is from the early 1970s, the gore involving eyeballs must have been shocking. The most memorable–and quite hilarious–scene is at the opening when the guy’s eyeball is hanging and the audio for his screaming is looped as he’s climbing down the fire escape. [rating: $2] –Kenyon

They [aka Invasion from Inner Earth] (1974)

They [aka Invasion from Inner Earth] (1974) The cheapest of cheap effects (smoke bombs), non-existent action and excessive talking from the main characters is what this abomination of film making relies on. Providing little to no sense at all, They makes Plan 9 from Outer Space look like the original Day the Earth Stood Still. For most of the 90 minutes, five people sit around in a secluded cabin, speculating about the chaos in the world supposedly caused by aliens who are never even shown! It’s assumed it is the aliens randomly communicating over ham radio in robotic voices, saying things like, “how many are you”? Adding to the beyond amateur low budget is the method of making people disappear. Mmmbop they are there, mmmbop they’re gone! Why that even happens isn’t explained. As if things weren’t confusing enough, this “movie” has been under at least three different titles with various cover arts that are all misleading. The cover of my copy has only the face of a reptilian-like creature with fangs. [rating: $0] –Kenyon